Text 23: Although purpose is clear, essays often seem disconnected, marred by punc. errors and incomplete analysis.

Text 24: Needs to focus on language precision. Faulty links between paragraphs. Great beginning to thoughtful analysis. Clunky.

Text 25: Research paper begins with some close-reading comments about Moby Dick. Limited analysis, more of a history. Limited syntactic variety.

Text 26: First essay: Multiple voices are confusing. Little analysis of missions." Second essay: "Over-reliance on sources; thesis, therefore, is muddled.

Text 27: Works to explore nature of early U.S. lit. Has difficulty integrating sources.

Text 28: Limited argumentative/analytical development. Lacks thoughtful thesis.

Text 29: The decision to explore race in Melville is very interesting. The second paper only begins to explore the prompt as other American texts are not closely explored.

Text 30: Discusses three texts, but neglects to look closely. Does more analysis as the paper develops. More summary than analysis.

Text 31: First essay looks closely at variety of mission scenes. Second essay incorporates Morrison (interesting!). Difficulty incorporating sources.

Text 32: Doesn't include assignment #1. Little on Moby Dick. More a collection of notes than a researched literary analysis.

Text 33: First essay: creative intro form of two letters. Could benefit from additional analysis. Second essay works diligently to look closely at Moby Dick.

Text 34: First essay: Nicely done. Second essay: Works to show duality of man Overuse of unincorporated quotes. Lacks paragraph development.

Text 35: First essay: Retells history collected at mission. Would benefit from more analysis.  Second essay: "Works diligently to integrate analysis of Moby Dick and other U.S. texts into argument about representations slavery and evil in then texts.

Text 36: First essay: Interesting claims about power and religion.  Second essay: Looks at religion across the decades. Connects to Moby Dick; tells us info; doesn't create much of an argument.

Text 37: First essay: Very dramatic, ego driven piece. Does bring voice to the analysis. Second essay: Difficulty with creating topic sentences that weren't ego-driven. Thoughtful close read of Melville; no connection to other texts.

Text 38: Genuine feeling. Limited analytical development. Reads more like a report than a literary analysis.

Text 39: First essay: Many moments of very thoughtful analysis. Anti-holy theme. Helpless images of Christ, haunted Christ. Second essay: Victim in lit. Sensitive concerns about thesis development and integrity sources.

Text 40: First essay: Page 1, paragraph 1: Spain uses religion--too pat? Paragraph 2: evidence? Point--no commentary on Indians, awe of mission--good start--dev. Indians' reactions.  Second essay: Page 1, a report on whale hunting?! Did I miss thesis?

Text 41: Paragraph 2--unassimilated thought. Page 1: Is mission speaking? What are the missionaries "saying"? "Recognized" or "stolen" by the U.S.? p. 3. Assumptions.

It would be difficult to say that this portfolio relies too much on authority because such a statement implies a single authority. In the long term paper, the block quotes seem tangential at best. The reader is left with the feeling the writer needed to come close to the page count rather than develop an argument.

Text 42: First essay: Contrast churches and Catholic POV some help. Gaze +. Metaphor--company meeting +. Would music be more inspired in mission? "dreamt"??? Is chant at St. Mary's relevant? Indian/children metaphor? Observation +; assumption -.  Second essay: "Compare Indian-child metaphor on p. 4 of first essay to p. 3 of second essay: growth. Poetic conclusion of paragraph 1, p. 7 enough? Malcolm X: Self-defense--not violence--is intelligent. "Know ourselves better."

Given change in thought between two essays, reader can see development of student thought. Analysis of Ahab as Malcolm X does not make sense given X's statements on self-defense.

Text 43: First essay: Chooses to write her mission experience as a series of personal journal entries. Exaggerated parallel to her own life; I appreciate the student's desire to make the personal connection, but it seems stretched.  Second essay: Works well to show the evolution of race and religion across literary decades. Works to integrate sources. Needs a tighter thesis.

Text 44: First essay: Found mostly a sketch of what was seen at the mission.  Second essay: Lacks a focused thesis. Works to evaluate the evolution of American identity. Many general statements.